Last month (May), Mam weighed 127 lbs. This month (June), Mam weighed 122 lbs. She lost 7 lbs in one month.
This triggered a flurry of phone calls from Park Bend. They notified me of the weight loss. They notified me of the Speech therapies. They notified me when they put Mam on diet supplements. I don’t mind these calls. But I saw Mam on 109 to 110 lbs before when she was in Malang. I think 122 lbs is still quite ok for Mam.
This weight loss also triggered the Park Bend staff to offer us their Palliative Care package. Palliative means
1.to relieve or lessen without curing; mitigate; alleviate.
2. to try to mitigate or conceal the gravity of (an offense) by excuses, apologies, etc.; extenuate.
I met with the nurse practitioner Wendy and the head of nurse Jennie at the end of May. They tried to explain to me what Palliative Care was all about. Basically, they want to concentrate on providing comfort more than providing cure. They told me that Mam has gotten worse cognitively. She used to assist the nurses when getting dressed, getting up, or even eating. Now, she’s quite passive and let the nurses do all the work. At this point in Mam’s dementia case, it makes total sense. I don’t have a problem with this concept.
What I have problems with was when they said: in case Mam developed a fever, they might not send her to the hospital, but instead just kept her in Park Bend. Well…. if Mam got a fever, shouldn’t they be calling me and discussing with me the care options? They said they would still notify me. Then I didn’t see a point of signing a paperwork. Anyway, if there’s an important event, I would be notified and I would be able to discuss with the nurse or doctor what’s the right thing to do for that case.
Park Bend was very aggressive in having me sign the paperwork to put Mam in Palliative Care. They called me several times to discuss this. I am a bit turned off and suspicious of why they so urgently want this. I told them I did not understand the point of signing a paperwork, if there was not going to be any change in how they provide the care and how they’re notifying me.
The case worker, also named Wendy, suggested to me to have another meeting with Ping Ye, Mam’s doctor.
